Here's what I've learned since being on crutches:
1. Going upstairs is far scarier than going downstairs because you can't see where you're going to land when you're falling backwards!
2. Crutches should come with kickstands. Or wriststraps. Or be padded in felt because no matter how carefully you place them, they inevitably fall to the ground!
3. When you realize you've forgotten to put on your deodorant for the day, it's easier to use your son's Right Guard from the downstairs bathroom and smell like a "cool breeze" than take another trip upstairs!
4. Strangers are more willing to help you (holding doors, picking up dropped items, etc) than your own family!
5. It's better to be on crutches in the winter when you can layer on the clothes for extra padding against your ribs/side, but even then it's good to remember, Body Glide is not just for runners!
6. "Wanna Race?" is only funny if the person asking you is also on crutches!
7. Being on crutches is only fun when you're sixteen and your friends carry your books for you!
8. Crutches should be paired with backpacks...or one of those As-Seen-on-TV grabber tools because holding onto anything extra other than a tissue is damn near impossible! (See #7.)
9. A 24-ounce container of water can be carried in a sports bra whenever necessary. (See #7.)
10. Anyone looking for a new product patent idea: A cupholder would be a great improvement to any set of crutches - think baby stroller or carseat options - because #9 is only appropriate in the privacy of your own home!
Considering all this was gleaned from only being on crutches for ten days, imagine how much I'll have to share after the full six weeks is up! God help us all!!
